Lately, I have decided to chronicle things that occur to me in the Spirit that have to do with Makenzie while we raise her. I am going to share items periodically because they can be beneficial to others. Worst comes to worst, they will at least offer you guys some fellowship with what the Spirit has me do.

I expect that many of the items will be just be a list and not really have much order or relevance to each other. Some will have little explanation though I could talk for a while on them. It is not my intention to discuss the matters at length, though if there are questions or comments, feel free to respond.

I warn you that I have no idea what I am doing as a parent. I have not completed anything with Makenzie and these items are only things that I am working on or that I see. I am only writing because I am carried along by the Holy Spirit (2 Peter 1:15) and I believe therefore I speak (2 Corinthians 4:13).

Please resist the urge to see this as a bunch of rules. They will be helpful to those whom God is with, but just because you do any of these doesn't mean that God will be with you...

You Must be the Coolest:

This specifically refers to the dads. I have addressed this in the short message, “Are You the Coolest?” The consequences are absolutely horrible if you are not and many of them land right on your children.

One-Hundred Thousand Tones of the Spirit:

This is a very light estimate. Disciples need to be much more sensitive to the varying tones and ways of speaking to our children that are available in the Scriptures. The range of speaking isn't as narrow as the two extremes of coming with a whip versus coming in love with a gentle spirit. There are many other ways to speak to our children which keep them from being exasperated or trained in a shallow manner. It is always amazing to me the number of tones, level of forcefulness or leniency, length of statements, ways of emphasizing words, softness, quickness, sharpness, merciful ways the Spirit offers us in our arsenal to richly provide for our people when we speak to them or for them. I am already assuming that we are not speaking out of frustration or want. We don't do that. My appeal in this world of calculations that the Spirit performs immediately, effortlessly and perfectly, is to get in step with the Spirit and fan into flame these things that have been given to us (1 John 4:14).

Eye Contact is a Must:

Even for a 2-year-old. Make it happen.

Train Our Children to Speak Well:

In the United States, in this day and age, we need to train our children to speak well. Make it happen. It occurs to me that I often repeat things so that Makenzie will have an opportunity to hear what I am saying twice. Example: I might say, “Let's change your diaper. Okay, we're going to change your diaper.” I often ask her to repeat my words and I help her sound them out. It is important that our children do not fall behind academically. We should train them to be way ahead.

Our Kids Should Not be Out of Control or Ham-Handed:

We can train them to not be like this.

Train Them to Listen:

There is no need for baby gates, leashes or other devices. In our house, the chemical cabinet is the only place that Makenzie is not allowed in. It is not locked though. There is and has always been a post-it note with the word, “NO” on it.

Smile:

This may sound weird, but I often smile when I look Makenzie to remind her that she is not in trouble, she is fine, there is nothing to worry about and that she may be confident in whatever she is doing. I do things like that to reinforce integrity in her life. In our relationship with God, we do not wonder if God is secretly mad at us. He lets know with his mighty hand when he disagrees with us. We need to offer that same relationship to our children. Then they will be confident and secure. They should never wonder if we are going to “drop the hammer” on them or “flip out.” This is completely unacceptable. Offer them what we have.

Be More Interested in What They are Interested in than They Are

The currently taught and known standard for our ministry is to be interested in what our children are interested in. That is actually a pretty lame standard compared to what it should be. First of all, we don't need to be interested in what they are interested in if God is not interested in it. If however, God is interested in what they are interested in, then we should hold ourselves to this standard: We must be more interested in what they are interested in then they are. More excited. More zealous. More more more. You are leading them, right? The leader is more interested more, more excited, has more energy. If you get mechanical here you will burn out. You really need to be in it with all your heart. I am hesitant to share this because if people are ignorant or unstable or lack discernment it will not go well. I see this as a way to actually consume our people like how God consumes us (Hebrews 12:29), which makes it so that we do not thirst. This keeps our kids from being needy and looking elsewhere to fill the void in their hearts.

We Need to Keep Our Cool

“Keep your head in all situations.” 2 Timothy 4:5. In front of our children, they will learn our overly emotional meltdown-esque ways. This is not a license to be phony.

Try Not to Say “No” All the Time

In order to avoid exasperation, sometimes I will say, “We don't bang things” instead of, for the 50th time, “No, don't bang that.” It is a little more encouraging.