Right Before Conversion:

I'll take you to an interesting point in my life: The year is 2002, the point in time right before and during when I was first being taught the Bible (just before I decided to give up my sin and become a disciple of Christ.)

God was working hard, faithfully exposing me for who I was at every turn so that he could get me up for hearing the truth. During that period of time, the span of about a year, God humbled me and brought me down forcefully with many sports injuries. I was still trying to recover and rehabilitate myself from that. It was so dreadful and heart-wrenching as my Olympic dreams were drifting further and further away with every passing day.

When I really think about how fast, loose, and crazy I was at that time, I am surprised that the people who decided to teach me the bible hung in long enough for it all to work. Really.

The first time I had a few guys come over to my apartment to teach me the Bible, one of them gave me a NIV version of the Bible because it would have been harder for me to understand the King James Version, which is what I had. So one of the guys let me use his Bible and I told them to hold on and I would get him the King James Version that I had so he could read along too. So I hustled to my room where I kept my Bible on my night stand and I grabbed it and brought it out. Now, I forgot for that moment that I would keep a bunch of condoms right under the front cover so I could grab them quickly when I was with a girl.

So I brought out my Bible and gave it to him and as soon as he opened it, a whole bunch of condoms just came busting out and fell out onto his lap. God was good because normally I wouldn't care at all, but I was actually embarrassed.

Another time they came over and asked me to go bowling and I remember saying the exact words, “Hold on. Let me just funnel a beer before we go.” I remember thinking, “If I'm gonna hang out with the church folks, I gotta have something in my system.” So I do that real quickly while they were right there, not even thinking that it was strange at all. Right after, I ask them, “Hey, you want to funnel a beer?” Again, I'm surprised they didn't just give up right there.

Even the first time I was supposed to go with them to wherever they worshiped, I relied on them calling me and picking me up. I did not pursue them at all. If they did not call me, I never would have gone with them or ended up studying the bible.

I had some interesting roommates when I was in college. There even was a guy with us who slept on the couch. He was a struggling magician. It was commonplace for drugs, alcohol, women to be going in and out. Oddly enough, one of the roommates was not into any of that stuff at all. He was some sort of religious guy. There was a girl that I was sleeping with at that time. She would come over every now and then. Well, he mentioned her one day, I forgot what he said that brought the topic of her up, but I remember saying, “Yeah, She's fun,” brazenly indicating what I was interested in her for and his indignant response was one of the first times that I actually felt ashamed myself in how I would sleep around with women. He only repeated my words, “SHE'S FUN!!!????” The way he said it was so exposing to me. In those words, in that tone, he exposed how I only saw her as a piece of meat; she was worthless to me. I only wanted to have my way with her and then be done with her... and in that, she was fun.

While studying the bible, I would hang out with them. One day we stopped at a convenience store. I was so hungry. I remember mentioning that I didn't have that much money to buy anything, so one of them gave me 5 bucks for some food. I used it to buy cigarettes. I remember being in the store and considering how I could either get some food to hold me over or I could buy some cigs. Well, the cigs won... and with his money. It is awesome now as I look back and consider just how pathetic and doomed I was. It is a good thing that God did not give up on me and it's a good thing that those around me didn't resolve that I was way too gone.

My hope for whoever is reading this is that you will see that you are not too far gone for God to save. God reveals himself to those who “seek with all their hearts.” Jeremiah 29:13.

My appeal for you is to let this website do what it is built to do--feed you spiritually. Feel free to check out many of my other postings, teachings, and podcasts.